Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Spring!

Ah, spring! When a frozen turkey's fancy turns to dinner.

Not that you're all that aware of the changing of the seasons when you live in a freezer.

Still, it's kind of primal, isn't it? The blood kind of gets to coursing in your veins - if you have all that stuff - and you feel fresh and young and full of life.

And of course I'm frozen and have been around for kind of a while now and am not, strictly speaking, alive in the first place. But still: spring!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Maybe Easter? Ha!

Or maybe not.

I just need to learn patience. It has to happen sooner or later. Someday I must be eaten, I must be. It is my fate. I can't do anything to bring it about more quickly, but I also couldn't escape it if I wanted to. I will be eaten.

Friday, April 7, 2006

In the freezer still

I haven't felt like blogging in a while.

The new freezer is a little bit larger than the other one, so that's nice. I do kind of wish my owner would quit piling stuff on top of me.

Sometimes my faith falters a little. But surely he wouldn't have kept me around for so long if he weren't going to eat me. I thought for sure St. Patrick's Day would be the day, but I guess I'll just have to keep waiting.

Maybe Easter!

Saturday, March 11, 2006

False alarm

It's almost more than a frozen turkey can take sometimes.

He packed me into a box with the other items from the refrigerator and freezer. He drove me to another apartment. He unpacked the box. He put me in the freezer.

This time there's a bag of frozen green beans right on top of me. I hate green beans.

It can't be good to have partially thawed and refrozen, can it? I hope I am still edible.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Thawing!

I can't believe it! I'm being thawed! This is incredible! I'm out on the counter of my owner's apartment. This isn't right - he's supposed to thaw me in a sink full of water, but I don't want to be picky. This is it! I'm going to be eaten!

It's kind of odd for him to be starting a turkey this late in the day. The apartment seems big, and uncomfortably warm, after all my time in the freezer. There are lots of boxes.

He appears to be packing everything into boxes. What a strange thing to do. Well, as long as I'm getting eaten, I could care less if he does a hornpipe! Cranberry sauce, here I come!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentine's Day

Maybe he likes a turkey dinner on St. Patrick's Day.

Sunday, February 5, 2006

Today is not the day

A bunch of new arrivals from the grocery store today, including a frozen pizza on top of me. Well, it's not the first time it's happened, and I guess it won't be the last. I'm becoming inured to indignities.

Maybe it'll be Valentine's Day.